Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

1990

2/4 Stars

The original live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film is based on the gritty streets of 1989 New York. While a children's film without a doubt, there are a number of efforts made to give this film a darker edge. There are many examples- Raphael swears ("Damn!"), Casey Jones swings a hockey stick (and later a golf club) through Raphael's (and later Tat-Su's) head, Danny wears Sex-Pistol's shirts, April gets punched in the face, Shredder throws a knife through a TV screen with April's face on it (he then says "Silence her"), and my personal favorite- there is a 9 year old smoking a cigar in Shredder's lair. All of these darker moments are counter-balanced by "witty turtle humor". This humor consists of joke-a-minute cheese.


The plot revolves around a mysterious crime-wave in the city. A pesky reporter, April O'Neil (Judith Hoag), gets in too deep while investigating the crimes and becomes a target herself. Enter the four mutant turtles and their giant rat leader, Master Splinter, who step in to save the day. A pretty standard adventure story, with some good action, "Turtles" also has some questionable effects. My favorite involves Master Splinter practicing his karate moves in a birdcage, pre-mutation.

The story comes from a comic book and while absurd on the surface has a certain charm to it. The costumes the turtles wear are from Jim Henson and are as realistic as cartoon turtles can be expected to be. The villain in the film, Shredder, is a cross between the Wolverine and Darth Vader (at one point declaring from behind his mask: "I am your father.") His fate in the film is crushing ("I made a funny!").

Overall, a cheesy kids movie with a slight edge. Not terrible, but far from brilliant.